Z – Zeal

“Zeal without knowledge is fire without light.”

– Thomas Fuller

Zeal is defined as great energy or enthusiasm in pursuit of a cause. Many people are zealous in pursuit of their family law rights. Pursuit of one’s ‘rights’ without fully understanding what those rights are, or without also acknowledging their corresponding obligations, is a mistake too many make.

Being knowledgeable about the process, the law, and the procedure is the fuel needed to zealously pursue what is important to you. Lawyers shine light on all those areas.

When you work with a lawyer on a limited scope basis, the lawyer will work on your behalf to complete a piece of work or represent you at an event. The lawyer’s knowledge contributes to your pursuit of what you are trying to achieve. Having someone else on your team who shares your zeal is empowering.

When you work with a lawyer on legal coaching basis, the lawyer will provide you with the knowledge you need when you need it. In this way, you can continue your zealous pursuit of your goals on your own terms.

Y – You

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

– Theodore Roosevelt

You are the consumer of legal services. You have made it clear that the traditional model of the lawyer being in control of driving the “legal bus” doesn’t work for everyone. In answer to the call for legal services to be delivered in some alternative form, the legal industry has responded. In family law, lawyers are prepared to partner with you. We are ready to do things differently and meet you where you are.

In the limited scope model, the lawyer drives the legal bus but only drives from one specific place to another specific place. So you drive the legal bus and when you need some assistance, you hire a lawyer to drive one stop for you. You may sit in the passenger seat and learn the route so that you can drive it yourself next time or you may sleep knowing that there is a competent and trusted driver at the wheel. Upon arriving at the next stop, the lawyer steps off the legal bus (and takes an Uber back to the office) while you get back into the driver’s seat and carry on down the road on your legal journey.

In the legal coaching model, you stay in the driver’s seat of the legal bus at all times. But you have a lawyer as your onboard navigation system. When you need help, the lawyer is a simple call (or email) away. You can describe the landscape in which you find yourself and the legal coach will talk you through it – helping to get you through the situation. Once you are comfortably moving along, you can ‘turn off’ the legal coach.

Check back next week, ‘Z’ is for …

X – eXpertise

“One of the problems with expertise is that people have it in some domains and not in others.”

– Daniel Kahneman

You are an expert in the story of your life. You know the players, you know what’s important, you know your reality. But if you don’t have legal expertise, then you want to ensure you get someone on your team who does have that knowledge.

Managing your own family law issues is tough. Of course, it can be done and it can be done well. Those who have come through the experience of handling their own separation or divorce with the assistance of a lawyer report more satisfying outcomes than those who have gone through it without any expertise.

Lawyers have expertise in the law. They know the legal tests, how various processes work, the rules of the court, how to do research and write, how to build strong legal arguments, and when to settle. Lawyers also know when it is time to bring in other professionals. For example, your case may require experts such as real estate appraiser or a specialized accountant who can prepare a report about your income (if it’s complicated or you are self-employed).

When you hire a lawyer on a limited scope or legal coaching basis you add the necessary expertise to your team. The lawyer helps fill in the gap between what you know about your own circumstances and how those facts may be applied in the law.

Check back next week, ‘Y’ is for …

W – Writing

“You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.”

– F. Scott Fitzgerald

Legal writing is its own unique form. You have to understand the purpose of the document, how it’s going to be used, who the reader will be, what to include, and sometimes more importantly, what not to include. You have to understand legal terms and how to use them accurately. You have to be mindful of tone, structure, and clarity. You have to know how to properly cite legislation and previous cases.

Decision-makers (like judges and arbitrators) and neutrals (like mediators and parenting coordinators) often first learn about your family law issues in writing – before they ever meet or hear from you directly. Making sure that your writing hits the mark is critical. It lays the groundwork for everything that follows it.

Hiring a lawyer on a limited scope basis to prepare a written document for you ensures that it is done properly. It can be the roadmap to let you then carry on that step or move to the next step. For example, if a lawyer prepares your motion material, you can then argue the motion on your own knowing that you are well- positioned.

Hiring a lawyer on a legal coaching basis to assist you with legal writing can be extremely valuable. While you do the actual writing yourself, the legal coach can help you understand the purpose of the document and guide you as you write. For example, a legal coach can help set up the various headings and explain what type of information to include under each heading. The legal coach can edit what you have written and provide you with feedback about what works and what could use revising.

Never underestimate the power of a well-written legal document.

Check back next week, ‘X’ is for …

V – Value

“Don’t tell me what you value, show me your budget, and I’ll tell you what you value.”

– Joe Biden

It’s true that not everyone can afford to hire a lawyer to handle their entire legal matter. It’s also true that many of those same people can afford some legal assistance. I have to come to believe that we are looking for value for our money. In family law, people want to know what they are going to get before shelling out their hard-earned dollars. While lawyers cannot guarantee success, they can (and should) be able to give you a sense of what value they bring to your legal matter.

Working with a lawyer on a limited scope or legal coaching basis allows you to get a sense of the lawyer’s work and whether it is the right “fit” for you (and them) without a huge commitment.

When you hire a lawyer on a limited scope basis, you may negotiate a flat fee for the task or you may pay by the hour, depending on the lawyer’s practice. Either way, you will have a sense of the amount you will spend. Once the lawyer delivers, you can decide whether you want to or need to retain the lawyer again on a separate task.

When you hire a lawyer on a legal coaching basis, the fees are determined up front. You can then decide how much to spend, when to spend it, and for what purpose.

Clients often end up finding more money in their budget for legal services once they see the value of what their money can buy them. Make sure you get value for your legal dollars.

Check back next week, ‘W’ is for …

U – Unbundle(ing)

“Unbundle: verb – charge for services separately rather than as part of a package.”

– Dictionary

Those in the business world are familiar with the terms ‘bundling’ and ‘unbundling’. For the rest of us – and for most in the legal world – the concept of unbundling is relatively new. That may be because we never considered ‘bundling’ in the first place.

Bundling is essentially what the traditional practice of law is: you take your bundle of legal issues (even when you think you only have one legal issue, a lawyer invariably advises you it’s more than one) and hand the bundle over. The lawyer will work on sorting out the legal issues, getting your instructions over the course of the file, and ultimately resolving it (whether by agreement or court order).

A number of years ago, as the price of a lawyer on a full retainer became out of reach for so many and as other simply decided that they did not want to spend their money that way, some in the legal profession started applying the concept of ‘unbundling’ to the practice of law.

Why does a lawyer have to manage every aspect of a legal matter? Why can’t the consumer decide what, when, and how the need legal help? Shouldn’t there be alternative forms of legal service delivery to meet the differing needs of the public? Isn’t that true access to justice?

When you hire a lawyer on a limited scope basis, you and the lawyer carve out of the whole bundle the specific piece that the lawyer will do for you. This may be research, writing, representation at one specific event, or providing an opinion.

When you hire a lawyer on a legal coaching basis, the unbundling goes one level deeper. You do all the work. The lawyer provides coaching when you need it. It could be about how to research, how to write something, or how to prepare for and represent yourself. Legal coaches also give legal advice.

Check back next week, ‘V’ is for …

T – Trial

“Issues are like tissues. You pull one out and another appears.”

– Gary Goldstein

Self-represented litigants simply do not do as well at trial as those who have legal support. Study after study confirms this. If your expectations of what trial is like come from A Few Good Men, Legally Blond, or My Cousin Vinnie, prepare to be shocked.

Trial is an intense, methodical, and detailed process with a thicket of rules. There are the legal issues to contend with and also the process issues. These can be overwhelming. How do you call a witness? How is expert evidence entered? What’s the difference in the kind of questions you ask ‘in chief’ vs in cross- examination? What are the rules of hearsay? What is hearsay? What goes into an opening statement? How is an opening statement different than closing submissions?

The truth is that very few family law cases actually go to trial. As a result, not all lawyers are knowledgeable about trial preparation and the conduct of a trial.

Getting help from a knowledgeable trial lawyer can mean all the difference. Causing the judge frustration by not understanding the rules or how do to things does not help your case. And be clear: the judge is not there to help you make your case.

You can hire a lawyer on a limited scope basis to represent you at the trial.

You can hire a lawyer on a legal coaching basis to help you understand the rules and the process. A lawyer acting in the role of legal coach can ensure you are as well prepared as possible.

Check back next week, ‘U’ is for …

S – Support

“Bridging the gap requires strong support.”

– Darin Green

Separation and divorce are a time of great change. Almost everyone has some combination of a friend, family member, colleague, or mental health professional upon whom to rely. No one should go through the process without any legal support.

Would you build a house without getting some advice from an architect or an engineer, plumber, or electrician? There are key times when legal help is a necessity. The point at which that times comes really depends on you. Making sure that legal help is available at the time and in the form you need is what limited scope and legal coaching is all about.

Law is a service industry in which lawyers strive to support their clients. As a profession, we need to ensure there are different ways to provide our services.

When you retain a lawyer on a limited scope basis, you get the support of the lawyer by having the lawyer do the work on your behalf. It could mean preparing something in writing for you, being your representative at a particular event, running some spousal support calculations, or giving you independent legal advice before you sign a settlement or agreement.

When you hire a lawyer on a legal coaching basis, you get the support at the time and in the way you need it. You may want advice on the law, an understanding of the various process options (negotiation, mediation, arbitration, litigation), editing of your written documents, explanation of what to expect at a court appearance, a strategy session, or help figuring out the next step.

Managing the resolution of your family law issues requires the support of a number of key players – don’t leave a lawyer off your team.

Check back next week, ‘T’ is for …

R – Research

“ ‘Google’ is not a synonym for ‘research’.”

– Dan Brown

Lawyers do legal research all the time. We use it to find what is ‘new’ in a particular area. We use it to see what decisions judges in previous cases have made about a particular legal issue. We use it to help determine the possible outcome of a case based on a similar fact pattern. Lawyers use legal research in court cases and in negotiation and mediation.

Research is a very powerful tool in family law. Finding a case on point and sharing it with the other person (or their lawyer) can help persuade them of your view. It can also help you identify the weaknesses or potential problems in your own case.

Too many people think that a simple Google search will help them find the information they need. Google is a tremendous resource but in the midst of a separation or divorce, you need a guide to point you in the most reliable, clear and informative source for your particular circumstances.

Legal research is taught in law school because it’s a core component of a lawyer’s job. Legal research involves access to public and subscription based legal-research databases. It also involves knowing which key words to use, how to read cases to determine applicability, and how to distinguish cases that don’t support your view.

You can hire a lawyer on a limited scope basis to do some legal research for you. The lawyer will then spend the time allotted and provide you with their findings. The lawyer can also prepare a memo for you summarizing, in plain English, the results of their research.

You can hire a lawyer on a legal coaching basis to teach you how to conduct legal research. The legal coach can send you to the right resources, suggest key word searches (depending on your facts and legal issues), and help you understand what the cases show.

Check back next week, ‘S’ is for …

Q – Questions

“There are no foolish questions and no man becomes a fool until he has stopped asking questions.”

– Charles Proteus Steinmetz

Questions, questions, questions. During a separation or divorce, there are so many of them. There are the questions we ask of ourselves, the questions we have for each other, the questions we have for professionals, the questions the court forms ask, the questions a mediator asks, the questions a judge asks, the questions asked during trial (which are a very specific type of questions that change depending on who is asking and who is answering), and on and on.

When you understand the context of the questions and who is best to ask and/or answer them, you can harness their power. Think about Questioning.

Questioning is a process (in Ontario under Rule 20 of the Family Law Rules) which allows one party to question another party – or someone else – before trial, and while under oath, about information they have. There are specific rules around how and when this questioning can take place. A written transcript of the questions and answers are prepared. It can be a powerful process for getting necessary information and moving the case forward.

You can hire a lawyer on a limited scope basis to conduct Questioning on your behalf. In this way, you can be assured that the process is as effective as possible. You will work with the lawyer to provide them the information they need to prepare their questions and ensure they have a good understanding of the purpose of the Questioning.

You can hire a lawyer on a legal coaching basis to help prepare you for Questioning that you will do on your own. The legal coach can explain how to ask questions, how to organize your material, what to do when the other person refuses to answer a question, where to conduct the Questioning, how to get a copy of the transcript and what to do with it afterwards.

The results of Questioning done properly can be the difference between settlement and moving forward to trial.

Check back next week, ‘R’ is for …

P – Pleadings

“You can’t build a great building on a weak foundation.”

– George Hinckley

Pleadings are the foundation of all court cases. The pleadings (in Ontario – Application, Answer, Motion to Change, Response to Motion to Change, etc.) form the basis of the claims you are making and give the court – and the other party – notice of what you are asking the court to make. It is the foundation from which your case is built. A weak foundation leads to a weak case.

Inaccurate or incomplete pleadings lead to a host of problems down the road. Failure to include a request for an order in your pleadings will lead to delay and additional costs. Including a request for something the court has no authority to order weakens your case.

Getting help from a lawyer at the outset, when you are preparing your pleadings, helps lay a stronger foundation from which you can build your case.

On a limited scope basis, a lawyer can prepare your pleadings for you. This ensures that you know that your foundation is sound so that you can build from there.

On a legal coaching basis, a lawyer can advise you on what claims you will want to make, how to complete the forms properly, and what information to include. The lawyer can then edit your drafts before you ultimately file them with the court.

The strength of your case is based on your pleadings. It is critical to understand your case from a legal perspective when building your foundation.

Check back next week, ‘Q’ is for …

O – Opinion

“Opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance.”

– Plato

Spending time and energy pursuing an outcome that simply does not fall within the ambit of the law makes no sense. Unfortunately, many people fail to get a legal opinion about the arguments they are making and end up stressed, tired and frustrated when they learn their position has no legal merit.

Getting a legal opinion before – or during – a family law process can make all the difference.

A lawyer can be hired for the limited purpose of providing an opinion on the law relating to a particular issue and how it applies to a specific set of facts. This gives you a better sense of your likelihood of success. It helps you to determine whether you want to press on or take a different course of action.

A legal coach can help you weigh different options. Perhaps you are choosing the process you are going to use. Or maybe you are considering terms of settlement. A legal coach can give you their opinion of what might work best given your specific circumstances.

Check back next week, ‘P’ is for …

N – Negotiation

“Negotiation is all about building trust, removing suspicion and developing a sense of mutual confidence in the other party.”

– Richard Ellis

We negotiate all the time. Much of the time we are not even aware of it. And over time, we all develop our own negotiating style – especially with those closest to us. But few have spent time thinking about or learning about the negotiation process; about what works, what to do in an impasse, the role relationship plays, and how to determine a good deal.

Lawyers are trained negotiators. Some have done deep dives into the topic, studying various elements and styles of negotiation. Some have years of experience and have developed excellent skills. People hire lawyers to negotiate on their behalf because they recognize the specific skill set the lawyer brings to the table.

Negotiation is complex and can be highly emotional, especially in the family law context. Deals that are negotiated without building trust and removing suspicion often fall apart shortly after they are made.

Hiring a lawyer on a limited scope basis to represent you in negotiating the resolution of a specific issue provides you with the assurance you need to achieve a durable resolution to your dispute.

A legal coach can provide you with negotiation strategies and help you get ready for a negotiation by building your skill set and comfort level.

In the family law setting there is often by necessity a lasting relationship between the parties, even after the legal issues have been resolved. Improving your negotiation skills will be of continued benefit.

Check back next week, ‘O’ is for …

M – Money

“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”

– Benjamin Franklin

Money is the main reason people don’t get legal help. I get calls from people all the time saying either ‘I spent all my savings on a lawyer and my case isn’t finished yet’ or ‘I can’t afford to hire a lawyer’. What I find truly alarming is when people who don’t have much in the way of income or property spend what money they do have fighting about it. Spending money wisely is the key.

I have come to see that those who represent themselves in dealing with their family law matters come out of the process (whether negotiation, mediation, litigation) far more knowledgeable about the issues, the law, and the process. It makes sense because the person who is self-represented is the one making the arguments, explaining why their proposal makes the most sense, preparing the documents, doing the talking for themselves.

Becoming more knowledgeable is what helps move things to resolution (whether through agreement or trial). Investing in your knowledge is critical to your success.

If you cannot afford to hire a lawyer on a full retainer, then figure out the best way to get the most for your money. You may want to pay a lawyer to do a piece of the work for you on a limited scope basis. This can be a smart way to use your money when you don’t have the time, energy, or knowledge to deal with that specific piece. Or you may decide the best use of your money is on a legal coach who can help when and how you need it over the course of a period of time. You can work with a lawyer to determine how to get best return on the investment of your legal dollar.

Spending money on the right lawyer, in the right way and at the right time, is an investment in knowledge. It pays off in the short- and long-term.

Check back next week, ‘N’ is for …

L - Lawyer

“Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.”

– Charles Lamb

We’ve all heard “the lawyer” jokes. But the truth is that those with legal assistance fare much better in our system than those with no legal assistance. The problem, until recently, has been that lawyers have worked in only one way.

With limited scope and legal coaching, working – or more accurately, partnering - with a lawyer is now possible. You get the benefits of a lawyer with a lot less of the challenges.

You control your budget.

You get help when you need it.

You decide what you need help with.

You work with a partner who bring skills, knowledge, and experience you don’t have.

Whether you are at the beginning of the legal process, mid-way through, or just about at the end: A lawyer is a professional you can and should include as part of your toolkit.

Check back next week, ‘M’ is for …

K – Kids

Kids “from high-conflict homes are more likely to have poor interpersonal skills, problem solving abilities and social competence.”

– Anna Sutherland, Institute for Family Studies

None of set out to have high-conflict relationships or separations. None of us hope our kids get caught in the middle of it. But it happens. And it happens all too often that a conflict gets out of control. There are lots of factors that contribute to that phenomenon. The law around parenting is currently changing as the Divorce Act gets a much-needed overhaul. Kids are at the center of those changes and reducing the conflict around kids is a key objective.

One way to ensure your kids come through the changes they are also experiencing is to mange the conflict you have with the other person. Having a professional to consult with can help to keep the kids’ interests at the forefront. Knowing how the law deals with kids’ interests is critical. Knowing what you want for your kids is equally important.

If there is someone involved in helping decide what will be the best arrangement for your children – either through the Office of the Children’s Lawyer or a private assessor – it can be wise to hire a lawyer on a limited scope basis to come with you to the ‘disclosure’ meeting. That is when the person discloses what their findings and recommendations are. These meetings can lead to settlement. But they can also lead to hearing perspectives that are hard to hear. Having a lawyer by your side can help with both of these potential outcomes.

When you hire a lawyer on a legal coaching basis, you get the help you need at the time you need it. Checking in with a lawyer along the way (when you decide) gives you the opportunity to talk through whether your plan for the kids is realistic, help you to know whether the law is on your side on a particular issue, or give you guidance on how to write child-focused emails and texts to the other person.

I hear people say that they would rather spend money on their kids rather than on legal fees. But when you’re in the midst of a separation or divorce, spending money to get the help you need when you need it is spending money on your kids.

Check back next week, ‘L’ is for …

J – Justice

“People demand a lot of the justice system and they demand things that it can’t deliver.”

– Helen Garner

During separation and divorce, people often focus on their rights and entitlements. There are also responsibilities and obligations to factor in. At the end of the day, most say they are looking for a “just” or “fair” outcome. Some demand “justice”.

Concepts like ‘justice’ and ‘fairness’ are not defined the same way by all. What might be ‘fair’ to you may appear completely ‘unfair’ to someone else. That is way it’s critical to understand what you are looking for and how best to get it.

Too many people make the mistake of thinking that a court case will lead to the ‘justice’ they seek, only to be disappointed when they find out that the court system cannot give them what they truly want. Think about the person who separates after learning about their spouse’s extra-marital affairs. The person is hurt, betrayed, frightened, and angry. They may want to see their spouse “pay” for their indiscretions. Going to court seems like a great idea until they realize that in most circumstances, a spouse’s behaviour is not relevant to the legal issues.

Hiring a lawyer on a limited scope basis can help you to pursue the ‘justice’ you are seeking by working on a specific task or step in the process.

Hiring a lawyer on a legal coaching basis can help you to better understand what you are truly trying to achieve – what ‘justice’ means to you – and the various ways to continue to move towards that reality as the process unfolds.

Check back next week, ‘K’ is for …

I – Information

“In the age of technology, there is constant access to vast amounts of information. The basket overflows; people get overwhelmed.”

– Criss Jami

You’re thinking about separation or divorce – or you’ve just been told it’s happening. You feel overwhelmed. You sit down and Google “separation or divorce” and get pages upon pages of information. You don’t know where to start. You have no idea what sources to trust. You have no clue whether reading something from California applies in Ontario. You shut down Google feeling worse than when you sat down.

Professional, reliable, and clear information is critical. Lawyers are professionals who are reliably able to provide you with the information you need. There are not only differences in the law from one province to the next, but there are different procedures in various courthouses within each province.

Hiring a lawyer on an unbundled or legal coaching basis will give you the information that you need – based on the specific issues you are dealing with, in the province in which you live, in the process in which you are engaged. If the lawyer is hired on an unbundled basis, you will get information about that specific task or event. If the lawyer is hired on a legal coaching basis, you will have access to information all along the way.

Do not underestimate the value of getting the information as you need it. While it’s great to have a general understanding of a process at the beginning of it, inevitably questions arise as you move forward. Information is a key component to achieving your goals.

Check back next week, ‘J’ is for …

H – Help

“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.”

– Ziad K. Abdelnour

Whether you are managing your family law issues on your own because you want to or because you can’t afford to hire a lawyer on a full retainer, you still need help. Going it alone is scary and unless you know the law, it puts you at a disadvantage. Even family law lawyers who go through a separation get help from other family law lawyers. The kind of help you need is different from the next person.

Getting the help of a lawyer on an limited scope basis gives you the assistance you need for a specific task (for example: preparing your financial statement) or a specific event (for example: representing you at your first case conference). The lawyer takes on that specific task or event which relieves you of the anxiety of doing it yourself.

Getting the help of a lawyer on a legal coaching basis gives you assistance when and how you need it. You can get help at any point in the process – from helping you to articulate your goals to how to run your own trial. When you don’t need any help, you carry on smoothly on your own. But you know you have a legal coach available to turn to when you do need support.

Help in the form of affordable legal services is available.

Check back next week, ‘I’ is for …

G – Goals

“If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up someplace else.”

– Yogi Berra

All too often in family law, I see people who have failed to really think through their short-term and long-term goals. They may articulate goals like “I want a fair resolution” or “I want to pay as little as possible/I want to get as much as possible” or “I want to win/I don’t want to lose”.

Without a deeper exploration of why those goals are important or what those goals look like from a practical perspective, they are short-changing themselves. Having a clear sense of your long-term goals helps to establish your short-term goals. Knowing what you ultimately want helps to answer:

  • How much I am prepared to spend to get from here to there?

  • What is the best course of action to take now to get what I want down the road?

  • How is this decision now in support of or contrary to where I am going?

  • What is the next step?

Whether you hire a lawyer on an unbundled or legal coaching basis, a good lawyer should ask you about your goals to ensure that your (and their) actions align with those goals. And when the actions – or the content of something you or they have written – are not in alignment with your stated goals, you then have an opportunity to make a difference choice about your actions or to change your goals.

Check back next week, ‘H’ is for …